…
She just wanted to feel, not analyze.
2 weeks later, Lamar rented an apartment for them, the same one where Tamika now lived.
He explained that he wanted her to be comfortable and that her previous place in a rough neighborhood wasn’t safe.
He paid the rent and regularly stayed over.
Tama didn’t ask any questions about his absence from home.
The rules of the game had been tacitly established from the very beginning.
Miss Gaylord? Officer Johnson’s voice brought Tamika back to reality.
We’ll need to take a more detailed statement from you.
Could you come to the station this afternoon? Yes, of course, Tamika replied automatically, watching the ambulance carry Lamar’s body away.
Back in the apartment, she sank onto the sofa that she and Lamar had bought 6 months earlier.
She suddenly found it difficult to breathe, as if an invisible hand was squeezing her throat.
Only now, alone, did Tamika allow herself to cry.
Tears streamed down her cheeks, dripping onto the silk blouse Lamar had given her for her last birthday.
Their relationship had never been easy.
Gradually, Tamika began to notice signs that she preferred to ignore.
Mysterious phone calls that Lamar answered by leaving the room, strange disappearances, his categorical refusal to introduce her to his friends.
She convinced herself that their love was special, that they didn’t need social conventions.
Tamika remembered the night 6 months ago when she first asked him directly about his family.
They were lying in bed after making love, and Lamar was relaxed and peaceful.
“Do you have children?” she asked, trying to sound casual.
“Lamar tensed, his body suddenly becoming as hard as stone.
” “Why do you ask?” “Just curious.
You never talk about your life outside of us.
” A long silence, then a heavy sigh.
Yes, I have children.
Three.
He sat up in bed, turning away from her.
And a wife.
Tamika felt something break inside her, even though she had always suspected the truth, but it was one thing to guess and quite another to hear it from him.
Do you love her? Tamika was surprised at her own boldness.
Lamar turned to her, his eyes showing a strange mixture of guilt and relief.
It’s complicated, Tamika.
Shyanda is the mother of my children.
We’ve been together for almost 20 years.
But with her, with her, I don’t feel what I feel with you.
With you, I can be myself, you know, without all the pressure, without having to live up to someone else’s expectations.
He took her hands in his, his fingers warm and steady.
You give me a break from a life that sometimes feels like a prison.
It’s selfish, I know, but I can’t give you up.
That night, they agreed not to bring up the subject of his family.
Tamika convinced herself that their love was more important than conventions, that she could be content with the hours Lamar could give her.
But the truth was that with each passing month, it became harder and harder for her to share him with anyone.
Now sitting in the empty apartment, Tamika realized another painful truth.
She knew almost nothing about Lamar Tadas, who was the man she had shared her bed with for the past 2 years.
Who was she mourning now? Her gaze fell on the dresser where Lamar usually kept some of his things.
Approaching it, Tamika opened the top drawer.
Inside were a spare shirt, a razor, several ties, and a small box she had never seen before.
With her heart pounding, Tamika opened it.
Inside the box were photographs.
The first one showed Lamar looking much younger, standing next to a beautiful dark-skinned woman holding a baby in her arms.
They were smiling at the camera.
A perfect, happy family.
The second photo showed the same woman, but now with three children of different ages, a boy of about 10, a girl of about 8, and a very young girl.
On the back was written, “Shya with her children.
Christmas 2022.
Shy, Lamar’s wife.
” Now she not only had a name but also a face.
A beautiful, kind face with eyes full of love for her children.
Tamika felt nausea rising in her throat.
Under the photos, Tamika found several receipts.
Looking at them, she began to piece together a new picture of Lamar’s life, receipts from a pawn shop where he had pawned family heirlooms, casino bills for large sums of money, threatening notes from people demanding repayment of debts.
The last note was dated yesterday.
You have 48 hours left.
Then we’ll talk to your family and your from the cafe.
Tamika sank to the floor, clutching the note in her hands.
Everything suddenly fell into place.
Lamar wasn’t just leading a double life.
He was drowning in debt and problems, hiding them from both his wife and his mistress.
The money he spent on gifts for Tamika, expensive jewelry, dinners at restaurants, all of it was most likely not surplus from the family budget, but money borrowed from shady characters.
In recent months, Lamar had looked exhausted and nervous.
He often clutched his chest, complaining of pain and pressure.
Tamika urged him to see a doctor, but he always found excuses.
Now she understood why.
A visit to the doctor could attract the attention of the insurance company and therefore his wife.
That was the answer to the question of why Lamar was near her house so early in the morning.
He was probably trying to hide from his creditors, planning to take Tamika and leave town.
Or maybe he was going to confess everything to her and ask for help.
Now she would never know.
The ringing of the phone snapped Tamika out of her thoughts.
An unfamiliar number appeared on the screen.
Hello, is this Tamika Gaylord? The man’s voice sounded uncertain.
My name is Devoan Harrington.
I’m a friend of Lamar’s.
We need to talk.
Tamika froze, clutching the phone.
For the first time in 2 years, someone from Lamar’s circle had contacted her directly.
I know about Lamar’s death, Devian continued.
I’m very sorry, but there are things you need to know and things I need to take from the apartment for his family.
for his family.
Those words hit Tamika with renewed force.
Lamar had a family who must also be mourning him now.
A wife who didn’t know Tamika existed.
Children who had lost their father.
I’ll be there in an hour.
Tamika replied and hung up.
She stood up and walked over to the window.
Life went on outside.
People hurried to work.
Cars honked in the morning traffic.
The sun rose higher, dispelling the fog.
The world did not stop with the death of Lamar Tedus.
Although Tama’s world was turned upside down forever.
A medical examiner later confirmed the initial diagnosis.
Death was caused by a massive heart attack.
A heart attack triggered by excessive stress and possibly alcohol and stimulants.
Lamarus, 41 years old, died sitting in his own car clutching his phone, which displayed an unfinished message.
Tama, I need your help.
I’m in trouble.
Tamika paced nervously around her apartment, glancing at the clock.
Almost an hour had passed since Lamar’s friend, Devon Harrington, had called.
A friend she didn’t even know existed until today, like so many other things in the life of the man she had spent the last 2 years with.
A sharp ring at the door made her jump.
Tamika took a deep breath, trying to collect her thoughts, and opened the door.
Standing on the threshold was a tall, strong man in his 40s with short dreadlocks and a tired look in his eyes.
He was dressed in overalls with a J.
J.
quote s auto repair patch on his chest.
Tamika, he asked, studying her face closely.
I’m Devian Harrington.
Come in, Tamika stepped aside, letting him into the apartment.
Devuan entered uncertainly, looking around as if assessing the situation.
His gaze lingered on a photograph of Tamika and Lamar taken last summer at an amusement park.
They were both smiling, happy and carefree.
“Did you know each other for a long time?” Devoan asked, nodding at the photo.
“2 years?” Tamika crossed her arms over her chest, feeling strangely vulnerable in front of this stranger who obviously knew more about Lamar than she did.
“And you?” Lamar and I grew up together.
We lived on neighboring streets in Compton.
Then we moved here to Santa Clarita together looking for a better life.
Devoan sighed heavily.
I knew him my whole life.
An awkward pause ensued.
Tamika felt anger rising inside her.
Not at Devian, but at the situation at Lamar, who had kept even something as simple as the name of his best friend from her.
“Why are you here?” she finally asked.
Devian rubbed his forehead as if gathering his thoughts.
Shivanda, Lamar’s wife.
She doesn’t know about you.
At least not yet.
But she will find out when she starts going through his things, looking at his bills, his phone.
He paused.
I’d like to take Lamar’s personal belongings that might complicate things for his family.
Tamika felt a lump rise in her throat.
His family, she repeated slowly.
And who was I all this time? Tamika, I Devon seemed at a loss for words.
Lamar was a complicated man.
He got himself into a mess.
He got into debt.
He tried to live two lives at once.
“And which one was the real him?” Tamika asked bitterly.
Devoan lowered his eyes.
“I don’t know.
Maybe both.
Maybe neither.
” Tamika walked over to the dresser and yanked open a drawer.
“All his things are here, and here’s more,” she said, pulling out a box of photographs and receipts she had found that morning.
You know what? Take it all.
I don’t need reminders of a man I didn’t know at all.
As it turns out, Devoan silently took the box and looked inside.
Seeing the photos, he frowned.
“Why did he keep them here?” he muttered as if talking to himself.
“Maybe so he wouldn’t forget who he really belonged to,” Tamika suggested sarcastically.
“Tell me, Devuan, since you knew him all your life.
Did he love me even a little, or was I just entertainment? Devoan looked at her with unexpected sympathy.
He never spoke directly about his feelings, but in the last few months, he often mentioned you.
He said you made him feel free.
That with you, he could be a different person, not the person everyone thought he was.
A different person, Tamika echoed.
So, he was playing a role with me, too.
We all play roles, Tamika.
Devon began gathering Lamar’s belongings into the bag he had brought with him, especially when we’re backed into a corner.
What about his wife? Does she know about his debts? About his gambling problem? Devoan shook his head.
Shivy trusted him too much.
She always trusted him.
Lamar handled all the family finances.
She has no idea what kind of financial mess they’re in.
Tamika felt a strange pang of sympathy for this unknown woman.
What will happen to her and the children now? Devoan zipped up the bag and stood up straight.
I don’t know.
Insurance maybe.
If the company doesn’t find out about his debts and gambling.
He looked Tamika straight in the eyes.
Listen, I understand that you feel betrayed and you’re right, but Shyanda and the children, they’re victims, too.
Only they don’t even know it.
Tamika turned away, not wanting Devuan to see the tears welling up in her eyes.
When’s the funeral? She asked suddenly.
Devuan tensed.
The day after tomorrow at Holy Redeemer Church.
He waited.
But Tamika, I don’t think you should.
I have a right to say goodbye, Tamika interrupted sharply.
Two years of my life, Devuin.
2 years.
Devuan didn’t argue.
He nodded silently, picked up his bag, and headed for the door.
He stopped at the threshold.
I’m sorry, Tamika.
I really am.
When the door closed behind him, Tamika sank onto the sofa and finally allowed herself to cry.
Not so much out of grief for the dead Lamar, but out of the realization that the man she was mourning might never have existed.
At the same time, in a modest house on the outskirts of Santa Clarita, Sio Brriswood sat on the edge of her marital bed, clutching her husband’s phone.
Her eyes were red from crying, but she wasn’t crying anymore.
The shock had given way to numbness, then to a strange, cold curiosity.
The police had returned Lamar’s personal belongings found in his car, his wallet, keys, and phone.
Shy had never checked her husband’s phone before.
Trust was the foundation of their marriage.
At least, that’s what she had always believed.
But now that Lamar was gone, she felt a strange need to get to know him better, to understand the man she had lived with for almost 20 years.
The phone was password protected, but Shyanda knew the password the day they met.
Or at least she thought she did until now.
When the standard password didn’t work, she felt the first pang of unease.
After several attempts, she remembered that Lamar had another special day, the day their eldest daughter, Ila, was born.
That password worked and Shiovanda gained access to the contents of the phone.
The first thing she checked was the messages.
There were several unfamiliar names in the contact list, but one caught her attention in particular.
T just one letter instead of a name, as if Lamar was trying to hide this person’s identity.
Shivanda opened the conversation and felt the ground slip away beneath her feet.
The messages were openly romantic, full of hints and promises.
The last message from T had been sent two days ago.
Waiting for you tonight.
I miss you already, T.
With trembling fingers, Shiovanda scrolled up through the messages, reading months and years of communication.
It became clear from the messages that Lamar wasn’t just having a fling.
He was in a serious relationship with this woman.
He rented an apartment for her, spent weekends with her when he told Shiovanda he was away on business and gave her expensive gifts.
Gifts.
Shyanda stood up abruptly and walked over to the dresser where the family valuables were kept.
She pulled out the top drawer, looking for her mother’s jewelry box.
The box was there, but inside she found only emptiness.
The sapphire ring that Shivanda’s mother had given her before she died with the condition that she would one day pass it on to Ila was gone.
Shyanda slowly sank to the floor trying to comprehend what was happening.
Lamar, her husband, the father of her children, the man she trusted unconditionally, had been leading a double life.
And by all appearances, he had been spending their family money on this other woman.
Mom.
Leila’s voice made Shivanda flinch.
Her 16-year-old daughter stood in the doorway looking anxiously at her mother.
Ila was the spitting image of Lamar.
The same expressive eyes, the same proud posture.
Even the smile was exactly like her father’s.
Now, however, she wasn’t smiling.
“Are you okay?” Ila asked, coming closer and noticing her father’s open phone next to her mother.
Shyanda tried to smile, but her lips wouldn’t obey her.
Yes, sweetie.
I’m just just going through dad’s things.
Ila sat down next to her on the floor and noticed an empty box.
Is grandma’s ring gone? She asked with unexpected understanding in her voice.
Shyanda looked at her daughter in surprise.
You knew? Ila lowered her eyes.
Not the ring specifically, but I knew that dad, she faltered.
That dad had someone else.
Shyanda felt a lump rise in her throat.
Why didn’t you tell me? Ila hugged her knees, suddenly looking like a little girl rather than a young woman.
I wasn’t sure at first.
I just noticed that he was staying out later, that he sometimes smelled like different cologne.
Then one night, I saw him talking on the phone in the garage late at night.
He was smiling like like he only smiled at us.
Ila looked up at her mother.
I didn’t want to upset you.
You worked so hard taking care of all of us, and you loved dad so much.
I did,” Shivanda echoed, realizing she was speaking of her love in the past tense.
Not because Lamar was dead, but because the man she loved turned out to be completely different from who she thought he was.
“There’s something else,” Ila said quietly.
“I overheard Dad talking to Uncle Devouan a couple of weeks ago.
They were talking about money, about big debts.
Dad said he had mortgaged the house.
” Shyanda looked up sharply.
What? That’s impossible.
We’re almost done paying off the mortgage.
I’m just telling you what I heard, Ila said, spreading her hands.
Uncle Devoan was very angry.
He said dad was putting the whole family in danger.
Shyanda suddenly remembered a strange conversation with the bank manager who had called a few days ago.
She had handed the phone to Lamar without paying much attention to the conversation.
Lamar always took care of the finances and Shiva trusted him implicitly.
With a growing sense of alarm, Shiovanda turned on her computer and logged into her online banking.
Their joint account, which she estimated should have had at least $30,000 in it, savings for the children’s college education, showed a balance of $17321.
Feverishly checking other accounts, Shiovanda discovered that all their savings were gone.
The transaction history showed numerous cash withdrawals, transfers to unfamiliar accounts, and payments to credit organizations she had never heard of.
“Oh my god,” Shio whispered, covering her face with her hands.
“What has he done?” “Mom,” Ila’s voice sounded frightened.
“What’s going on?” Shyanda took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
This was no time to break down.
She had three children who depended on her.
The youngest, Jamal and Emani, were only 10 and seven.
They had just lost their father.
They couldn’t lose their home, too.
“Everything will be okay, sweetie,” she said, hugging her daughter.
“We’ll get through this.
” At that moment, the doorbell rang.
Shawanda wiped her eyes and went to answer it.
Devoan stood on the doorstep with a large black bag in his hands.
“Showanda,” he nodded awkwardly, shifting from one foot to the other.
I brought some of Lamar’s things.
Shawanda stared intently at her husband’s friend.
“Come in, Devian.
We need to talk.
” Devo walked into the living room where Ila immediately hugged him.
“Hi, Princess,” he muttered, stroking the girl’s hair.
“How are you holding up?” “Fine, Uncle D,” Ila replied, using his childhood nickname.
“And you?” “I’ve been better,” Devuan replied honestly.
Shivanda gestured for him to sit down.
Ila, dear, could you check on Jamal and Imani? They’re watching cartoons in the nursery.
Ila understood the hint and nodded, leaving the room.
As soon as the door closed behind her, Shy turned to Devuan.
“You knew about her,” she said, not asking a question, but making a statement.
Devuan didn’t pretend he didn’t understand.
“Yes, I knew.
And about the debts, and that he mortgaged the house.
our house, Devoan.
The house where his children are growing up.
I tried to talk him out of it, Devoan said quietly.
I tried to make him stop to think about his family, but Lamar, he was too deep in it.
At first, it was just sports betting.
Then the casino, he lost, tried to win it back, lost even more.
And then this woman came along.
Who is she? Shivanda asked sharply.
I want to know her name.
Devoan sighed.
Tamika Gaylord, a waitress at Danyy’s 24-hour diner.
I just got back from there.
I picked up Lamar’s things.
Shivanda slowly sank into a chair.
How long? 2 years, Devo replied reluctantly.
But she didn’t know the whole truth either.
Lamar hid the existence of your family from her just as he hid her existence from you.
He was living a double life, Shiovanda.
And in the end, it killed him.
Shyanda looked at the bag Devoan had placed at his feet.
What’s in there? His things from the apartment he rented for her.
Devoan opened the bag and took out a small box.
And this I thought it should be returned to you.
He opened the box and Shivanda saw her mother’s ring.
The sapphire sparkled in the afternoon sun shining through the window.
He gave her my mother’s ring.
Shyanda whispered, feeling a wave of anger rise inside her.
The ring that was supposed to go to Ila.
I don’t think she knew its history, Devoan said.
Lamar could have told her anything.
Shivy picked up the ring and clutched it in her palm.
What am I going to do now, Devoan? The house is mortgaged.
The bills are unpaid.
I have three children and a nurse’s salary.
Devuan leaned forward.
I’ll help you, Shiva.
We’ll all help you.
You’re not alone.
Insurance.
Shiva began.
The insurance won’t cover the debts.
Devian shook his head.
And there’s something else you need to know.
Lamar owed money to some very dangerous people.
The kind who don’t forgive debts.
Even when you’re dead, they might come after you.
Shyanda felt a chill run down her spine.
What do you mean? I mean that you may have to leave town for a while for your safety.
Devoir rubbed his forehead.
I have a friend in San Diego.
He can put you up for a while.
Shyanda shook her head.
I can’t just run away.
The kids are in school.
I have a job.
This is our home, Devwin.
The house that the bank is about to take away, Devoan reminded her gently.
Listen, I’m not saying it’s forever.
Just a few months until things settle down.
Shy leaned back in her chair, feeling incredibly tired.
First, the funeral, she said.
We need to give Lamar a proper sendoff.
The kids need to say goodbye to their father.
and then then we’ll figure it out.
” Devon nodded, not saying that Shy simply didn’t have the money for a lavish funeral.
He would cover the expenses.
It was the least he could do for his best friend’s family.
While Shy and Devo discussed the bleak future of the Briswood family, Tamika Gaylord sat in her apartment, staring at the empty walls.
She had taken down all the photos and souvenirs that reminded her of Lamar and put them in a box.
But memories couldn’t be packed away so easily.
Tama remembered every moment of their relationship, analyzing it, trying to understand where the lies were and where the truth was.
Were his declarations of love sincere? Did he ever think of leaving his family for her? Or was she always just entertainment, a way to forget his problems, an outlet? The phone rang, pulling her out of her thoughts.
It was Sheniqua, her colleague from the cafe.
Hey, how are you? Shenika’s voice was full of genuine concern.
“You didn’t show up for your shift, and Roy said, “You called in sick because of family issues.
” “Lamar died,” Tamika said simply, surprised at how steady her voice sounded.
“Heart attack?” “Oh my god,” Shaunie exclaimed.
“I’m so sorry, sweetie.
You’re not alone.
You hear me? I can come right over.
” “Don’t,” Tamika replied.
“I need to be alone to process this.
Of course, I understand.
Just know that I’m here if you need me.
After talking to Shenikica, Tamika sat for a long time, staring at one spot.
Her thoughts were far away.
She was imagining Lamar’s house, his real home where his wife lived.
What did it look like? What was the atmosphere like? Did they have family photos on the walls, shared jokes, traditions? And then a new thought came to her, overshadowing everything else.
She had to see this woman, Shy, to see her face, her eyes, to find out who Lamar had chosen as his official partner in life, the mother of his children, who he came home to every day, who he left Tamika for.
The decision came suddenly, but with absolute clarity.
She would go to Lamar’s funeral.
She had the right to say goodbye to the man she loved, even if that love was built on lies.
and she would look into the eyes of the woman she had shared a man with without even knowing it.
Tamika stood up and walked over to the closet.
The black dress Lamar had given her last Christmas hung in the far corner, never worn.
It was perfect for the funeral of the man she thought she knew.
The morning of Lamar Taus’s funeral was cloudy, as if nature itself had decided to match the somber occasion.
Dark clouds hung over Santa Clarita, threatening to spill rain at any moment.
Shiovanda Brriswood stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, mechanically buttoning the black dress she hadn’t worn since her mother’s funeral 3 years ago.
Her face was calm, almost detached, but her eyes betrayed the storm of emotions raging inside her.
Pain, confusion, anger, betrayal, all mixed together in a toxic cocktail that poisoned her every thought.
The last two days had been a living nightmare for her.
Every hour brought new discoveries.
Lamar’s debts were much greater than even Devian had imagined.
The insurance company refused to pay out the policy due to suspicious circumstances surrounding his death.
The bank had already begun foreclosure proceedings on the house.
Everything had considered reliable and stable in her life was crumbling like a house of cards.
Mom, I’m ready.
Ila’s voice snapped Shivonda out of her dark thoughts.
Her daughter stood in the bedroom doorway dressed in a simple black dress.
She looked older than her 16 years, and her eyes showed a maturity beyond her years.
Jamal and Demani are ready, too, Ila continued.
Uncle Devoan has already arrived and is waiting for us in the living room.
Shyanda nodded and turned to her daughter.
How are you, sweetie? Ila shrugged.
Fine.
I’m worried about the kids.
Am I cried all night? Jamal has barely spoken since he found out about his father.
Shivanda walked over to her daughter and hugged her tightly.
“We’ll be okay,” she whispered, not sure who she was trying to convince more, her daughter or herself.
“We’ve always been strong.
We’ll stay strong.
” “I know, Mom.
” Ila pulled away and looked her mother in the eyes.
“You’re the strongest woman I know.
” At that moment, Shivanda suddenly realized with striking clarity life was divided into before and after.
And in this new after, she would have to be not just a mother, but the only support for her children.
Lamar had left them not only physically, he had betrayed their trust, leaving behind debts and shattered hopes.
“It’s time,” Shivanda said, straightening up and squaring her shoulders.
In the living room, Devoan paced nervously back and forth.
He was wearing a black suit that was clearly a little too small for him, probably borrowed especially for the funeral.
Is everyone ready? He asked when Shiovanda and Ila came downstairs.
Jamal and Ammani were already sitting on the couch, quiet and confused.
10-year-old Jamal, usually restless and noisy, now looked sluggish, as if he were under the influence of a sedative.
7-year-old Ammani clutched a worn teddy bear tightly in her hands, a gift from her father on her fth birthday.
“Ready,” Shivanda replied, taking Ammani by the hand.
“Let’s go, Saint.
Redeemer’s Church was small, but on this day it seemed especially crowded with all the people who had come.
Lamar’s colleagues from the mall, neighbors, distant relatives, many had come to see him off on his final journey.
The coffin stood in front of the altar, closed, according to Shivand’s wishes.
She didn’t want the children to remember their father like this, motionless, with an artificial expression of peace on his face applied by the funeral home’s makeup artist.
The service began.
The priest spoke about the transients of life, about God’s mercy, about forgiveness of sins.
Shyanda listened to his words, but they did not resonate with her.
What sins of Lamar’s should she forgive? Betrayal, lies, financial betrayal, or the fact that he left them penniles, homeless with no future.
When it was time for the final words, Devoan stepped forward.
His voice trembled as he spoke of Lamar as the brother he never had, the friend who had always supported him.
He made no mention of Lamar’s weaknesses or mistakes.
This was a funeral after all, a place for fond memories, not for the truth.
Lamar loved his family, Devoan said, looking at Shivandanda and the children.
He wanted only the best for them.
And I know that wherever he is now, he is watching over you and wishing you strength and courage.
Ila sniffed quietly and Shiovanda squeezed her hand, urging her to be calm.
This was not the time for bitterness.
After the service, the procession moved to the cemetery located not far from the church.
The day remained cloudy, but the rain never came, as if nature was holding back its tears with all its might.
While Lamar’s family and friends gathered around the freshly dug grave, Tamika Gaylord stood under an old oak tree 50 m away, partially hidden by the tree trunk.
She had arrived early and watched the procession arrive, trying to guess who was who.
She recognized Shiva immediately from a photograph she had found among Lamar’s belongings.
In real life, she looked even more beautiful, tall, slender, with a noble bearing and that special dignity that cannot be acquired but is given at birth.
Looking at her, Tamika felt a pang of self-consciousness.
Shy was accompanied by three children.
The two younger ones stayed close to their mother while the older teenage girl stood slightly apart, her head held high defiantly and her hands clenched into fists.
Tam also recognized Devon.
He bustled around the family, hugging Shivonda around the shoulders and leaning down to the children with words of encouragement.
Protector, guardian, the role Lamar was supposed to play.
The cemetery ceremony continued.
The coffin was slowly lowered into the grave.
The priest said the final prayers.
Shivanda and the children took turns throwing handfuls of dirt onto the coffin lid.
Now it was time for the rest to say goodbye to the deceased.
Tamika took a deep breath and stepped out of her hiding place.
Each step was difficult, as if her legs were filled with lead.
She didn’t fully understand what she was going to do or say.
She just needed to see everything with her own eyes to feel the reality of what was happening.
When she approached the grave, people began to turn around.
Their glances, surprised, wary, curious, followed her progress.
Dvauan noticing her straightened up abruptly and moved to block her way.
Tamika, he said quietly but insistently, trying to stop her.
Not now.
Not here.
But Tamika walked past him as if she hadn’t heard him.
Her gaze was fixed on Shiovanda who was standing at the edge of the grave supporting her youngest daughter.
Shyanda looked up and met Tamika’s gaze.
Something flashed in her eyes.
Recognition? understanding a woman’s intuition.
In any case, she immediately knew who she was looking at.
Tamika stopped a few steps away from Shiovanda and her children.
Hello.
Her voice sounded unexpectedly.
My name is Tamika Gaylord.
I I knew Lamar.
A space immediately formed around them.
People instinctively stepped back, sensing the tension emanating from the two women.
I know who you are, Shivanda replied.
Her voice was surprisingly calm.
Devouan told me, Tamika swallowed nervously.
I just wanted to say goodbye.
And maybe talk to you.
Now is not the time or place, Devoan interjected, approaching them.
The children, it’s okay, Devoan, Shiovanda stopped him.
Ila, take Jamal and Imani.
Wait for me in the car.
But mom, Ila began to protest now.
Shy’s voice broke no argument.
Ila glanced back at Tamika, her expression a mixture of curiosity and hostility and led the younger children toward the parking lot.
Talk, Shio said when the children were far enough away.
What did you want to tell me? Tamika suddenly felt ridiculous.
What did she really want to say to this woman? Apologize? Accuse her? Share her pain? I didn’t know about you, she finally said.
I swear I had no idea Lamar had a family.
He never said anything until a certain point, Shiovanda interrupted coldly.
Then you found out, but you continued the relationship.
Isn’t that right? Tamika lowered her eyes.
Yes, you’re right.
He told me 6 months ago, but he said there was nothing between you anymore.
That you were only staying together for the children.
Shy smiled bitterly.
Classic, isn’t it? The wife doesn’t understand.
The wife is cold.
The wife has turned into a roommate.
She shook her head.
Lamar has always been a great storyteller.
He said he loved me.
Tamika didn’t understand why she was saying these words.
That he felt alive and real with me.
So with me, he felt dead and fake.
Anger crept into Shiva’s voice.
Did you come here for sympathy or to finish off a woman whose lover has already taken everything from her? Her trust, her security, her future? Tamika recoiled as if she had been struck.
I didn’t mean to hurt you.
I just I needed to see you to understand.
Understand what? Shy took a step forward, closing the distance between them.
That Lamar chose between us.
Well, Miss Gaylord, he didn’t choose either of us.
He chose his gambling, his debts, his selfishness, and now we’re both paying for his choice.
Devoan tried to intervene.
Listen, let’s not.
No, Devuan.
Shivanda replied harshly.
Let her know.
Let her know that the legacy Lamar left behind is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.
That we’re about to be evicted from our home.
That my children have lost not only their father but also the roof over their heads in the future we dreamed of.
Tamika felt tears welling up in her throat.
I didn’t know.
Lamar was always so generous.
He rented an apartment for me.
Gave me gifts.
Gifts? Sio laughed.
But there was no joy in her laughter.
Like what, for example? Tamika instinctively ran her hand over the chain around her neck, which held a sapphire ring too expensive to wear everyday.
She had put it on for the first time today without knowing why.
Lamar gave it to me on our anniversary, she said, removing the chain and showing the ring in her palm.
He said he chose sapphire because it reminds him of the color of my eyes on a sunny day.
Shivanda stared at the ring, her face suddenly turning pale.
“That ring belonged to my mother,” she said in a lifeless voice.
“It was supposed to go to Ila on her 18th birthday.
That was my mother’s last wish before she died.
” Tamika froze, not knowing what to say.
The reality was too cruel, too humiliating for both of them.
“I I didn’t know.
” She finally managed to say, “Take it.
” She held the ring out to Shivonda, but Shyanda didn’t move to take it.
“Keep it,” Shyanda said coldly.
“Consider it payment for your services.
” Tamika felt the blood rush to her face.
Humiliation, shame, and anger mixed together in an explosive cocktail.
“I loved him,” she said in a trembling voice.
“I really loved Lamar, and he loved me.
I know.
Lamar only loved himself,” Shiovanda snapped.
He couldn’t truly love you or me or even his children.
True love doesn’t destroy Miss Gaylord.
It builds, protects, and nurtures.
Lamar only destroyed everything and everyone around him.
It was too much.
All the tension of the last few days, the shock of Lamar’s death, the discovery of his lies, and now this humiliating conversation.
Tamika felt something break inside her.
It must have shown on her face because Devoan stepped forward as if trying to stand between the two women, but it was too late.
Tamika suddenly remembered the gun in her purse.
Another gift from Lamar, which he had insisted she carry with her for protection.
The small revolver she had taken today more out of habit than conscious decision.
You’re right, she said, her voice sounding strangely calm.
Lamar didn’t love you or me.
He cheated on both of us.
He played with us like dolls in his little dollhouse.
Tamika, Devoan began warning Lee, noticing her rumaging in her purse.
Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t think about yourself, about your future.
Future? Tamika laughed, and the laugh sounded like a sob.
What future? Devuan.
Two years of my life have been a lie.
2 years.
And all I have left is a stolen ring from a dead woman and memories of a man I didn’t know at all.
Her hand found the cold metal of the gun.
Her fingers closed around the handle.
At that moment, a child’s voice rang out in the distance.
“Mommy, Immani is crying.
She wants to go home.
” It was Ila standing by the car with the younger children.
They were waiting for Shy.
Shy turned toward her daughter’s voice, and that moment decided everything.
“Tama grabbed the gun from her purse, throwing the bag aside.
Lamar said he loved me, she said, pointing the gun at Shiovanda.
But it was a lie.
It was all a lie.
Tamika, no! Devoan shouted, rushing forward.
But it was too late.
The first shot rang out, shattering the silence of the cemetery and breaking the fragile balance of the mournful day.
Shyanda didn’t move, either from shock or from the realization of the inevitability of what was happening.
She stood straight, her head held high, looking Tamika in the eyes.
The second shot rang out.
The third.
The fourth.
People screamed and ran away.
Someone called the police.
Devian was still trying to reach Tamika, but he stumbled, fell, and got up again.
The fifth shot rang out.
Mom.
Ila’s scream cut through the cacophony of sounds.
She ran toward her mother, leaving the younger children by the car.
The sixth shot rang out.
Tamika could barely see Shivonda in front of her, only a blurred silhouette through the veil of tears covering her eyes.
At that moment, the cemetery workers began to fill Lamar’s grave.
The sound of earth falling on the coffin lid was strangely synchronized with Tamika’s seventh and final shot.
The revolver fell from her weakened fingers.
Her legs buckled and she sank to her knees at the edge of the freshly dug grave.
All seven shots missed.
Tamika was not an experienced shooter and her hands were shaking too much, but it didn’t matter.
Her life was over the moment she pulled out the gun.
Shyanda stood motionless, still staring at Tama.
There was no fear or anger on her face, only endless fatigue and something resembling sympathy.
Around them, the commotion continued.
People were shouting, crying, and police sirens wailed in the distance.
Ila finally reached her mother and hugged her, pulling her away from Tamika.
Dvauan approached Tamika and picked up the gun from the ground.
“What have you done?” he asked quietly.
Tamika looked up at him with empty eyes.
“The same thing Lamar did,” she replied.
“Rued your life because of your stupidity and selfishness.
” The police arrived a few minutes later.
Tama Gaylord was arrested without resistance.
As she was being led away in handcuffs, she turned around one last time to look at Lamar’s grave, which was almost completely covered with dirt.
Shyanda Briswood stood aside, hugging her three children.
Even now, after everything that had happened, her posture conveyed the same dignity that had so impressed Tamika when they first met.
A dignity that Tamika had never possessed.
The last blow of the shovel against the fresh grave coincided with the moment when the police car with Tamika drove away.
Two years of lies, betrayal, and selfdeception were over.
The reckoning had begun.
